... but I am in a serious situation right now.

I can't share with you the details. This would only matter to you if you read my fics. So if you DON'T read my fics, any of it, or if you have malicious intentions towards me, please leave. I don't need more paranoia than what I already have. I don't need people ruining my life.

I'll get down to the point. Soon, isamijae will stop running. Permanently. I can't keep posting things here, for reasons I cannot disclose.

But since I still have unfinished business (read: fics ^^), I am NOT going to stop writing. No shit is going to stop me from that. Since posting stuff here is no longer possible, I have no choice but to create another writing journal. I am sorry that I cannot tell you what my new handle is yet. But once I do create a new LJ, rest assured that I will PM those who regularly comments on my fics and those who I know quite well. For the rest of you, if you know what fics I write, you'd have no trouble figuring it out. Besides, if it's my fics that you care more about, the fics won't change. Just the username of the person who posts them. (Sometimes I read fics without even looking at the author's name. I am very bad! =O)

edit: However, you wish for me to inform you of my new LJ handle later, just leave a comment saying so. If you wish for me to add/friend you straightaway, let me know as well. It'd help me more if you specify which one of my fics that you like/follow.

For now, I'm f-locking all my old entries on this journal one by one. I'll start with the NC-17 ones before locking the others. Once I've created a new journal, I'll move everything there. On the new journal, I'll only keep the fics public for the first two or three days before f-locking it. I hate doing this, but I have no other choice. I cannot afford having my fics public anymore. I know this new policy might lose me a bunch of readers, but the alternative is much uglier. It's either I do this or I don't post my fics at all.

Perhaps I'll keep this journal for non-fictional stuff. I want to make the other journal Fics-Only. I know this might not be the best thing to do, but I cannot do anything else. I am already very troubled. I don't want to lose what I've built up for one whole year. I am very sorry. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for taking this step.

I am very sorry. I am also very sorry that I cannot offer you any explanations. You can ask me personally if you want. Comments are screened for this reason.

Have a nice day and thank you for reading. *bows*

Title: Godsend
Length: Series, (11/?)
Author: Isami J. Mayhard
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: JaeHo/YunJae, YooSu
Genre: Sci-fi, Adventure, Drama
Summary: Set in Vacation 1 Universe. A year after their ‘vacation’, Yoochun gets catapulted to the future and witnesses something horrible. Now, back in the present, he needs to prevent the future he has seen from happening.
Requirements: Must Watch Vacation 1 First.

Season 1

Season 2

11.0 Next Wave

Note: Please go here and ask to be added in order to read.

Disclaimer: This fic, although based on real people, is a pure work of fiction and does not reflect true occurrances, views and orientations. No financial profit has been made in the production of this fic. "Heroes" is created by Tim Kring.

Title: Kill-a Morning
Author: Isami J. Mayhard
Length: Oneshot
Rating: R/NC-17
Genre: Smut/Lemon
Setting: Jung Yunho M.D. Universe.
Requirements: It'd be better if you've read the previous installments of this Universe. Not compulsory, though.
Summary: What happened on Jaejoong's end of the line after the phone call to his brother.

+ + Kill-a Morning + +

Due to rating, please add my writing LJ here to read.

Title: Just Because
Author: Isami J. Mayhard
Length: Oneshot
Rating: G
Genre: General
Setting: Jung Yunho M.D. Universe. Takes place after Only At Night
Requirements: It'd be better if you've read the previous installments of this Universe. Not compulsory, though.
Summary: Changshik contemplates how his life defies all Laws of Contemporary Logic. (Changshik-centric.)

What is the best way to start a pointless drabble?

If you can't access that, you need to visit this post and ask to be added in order to read. Thank you ^^

Title: Godsend
Length: Series, (10/?) Pt. 3/3
Author: Isami J. Mayhard
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: JaeHo/YunJae, YooSu
Genre: Sci-fi, Adventure, Drama
Summary: Set in Vacation 1 Universe. A year after their ‘vacation’, Yoochun gets catapulted to the future and witnesses something horrible. Now, back in the present, he needs to prevent the future he has seen from happening.
Requirements: Must Watch Vacation 1 First.

Season 1<

Season 2

10.0 Just You and I - Part 3

Please add my writing LJ here to read.

Disclaimer: This fic, although based on real people, is a pure work of fiction and does not reflect true occurrances, views and orientations. No financial profit has been made in the production of this fic. "Heroes" is created by Tim Kring.

This is my entry for the Good Friday Writing Contest. I really had fun writing this! I didn't expect to even get shortlisted >____>;; I was really surprised. I just woke up after a looooong nap, drowsily checked my e-mail and was confused as to why suddenly people were giving me messages. xD Thank you to razra_eizel, susgirl, and tkder for your lovely messages. <3

This is my first time joining any writing contests such as this. However, I CANNOT TAKE THE FULL CREDIT! This fic was betaed by the lovely, wonderful, amazing, great, all-talented orionsroad. Congrats on your win also, Loki! <3 See? I told you I need you. Who am I without thee??

And while I'm on a roll, I'd like to thank machaparfait too for putting up with me when I spazz in anxiety over this contest. I was all "OMG THE RESULTS ARE COMING OUT TOMORROW!" a day before the results. ^^

Um, sorry about the spazzing. I am still in disbelief. O_o I've been wanting to post this since forever, but I had to wait for the results to be announced before doing so. So now the moment is finally here ^^. I hope you've been looking forward to this as much as I have. I really like this. And Loki's beta has made it 500x better. I hope you'll like this too.

+ + HYPOTHETICAL + +

Due to content, please add my writing LJ here and leave a comment to be added in order to read. Thank you. ^^

Title: Only At Night
Author: Isami J. Mayhard
Length: Oneshot
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Yunjae
Genre: Fluff, minor Angst
Setting: Jung Yunho M.D. Universe
Requirements: It'd be better if you've read the previous installments of this Universe. Not compulsory, though.

Isami's Rants: This is just a random oneshot from this Universe, no medical stuff this time around, so this isn't a full episode. I am not supposed to write/post this now, but I miss writing so much, and I am needing some fluff so ... I hope you enjoy this. This is unbetaed and done on a school night, so I'm sorry for any mistakes. =^^=

Only At Night

Please add my writing journal here to read. Thank you. ^^

Title: Godsend
Length: Series, (10/?) Pt. 2/3
Author: Isami J. Mayhard
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: JaeHo/YunJae, YooSu
Genre: Sci-fi, Adventure, Drama
Summary: Set in Vacation 1 Universe. A year after their ‘vacation’, Yoochun gets catapulted to the future and witnesses something horrible. Now, back in the present, he needs to prevent the future he has seen from happening.
Requirements: Must Watch Vacation 1 First.

Season 1<

Season 2

10.0 Just You and I - Part 2

Please add my writing LJ here to read.

Disclaimer: This fic, although based on real people, is a pure work of fiction and does not reflect true occurrances, views and orientations. No financial profit has been made in the production of this fic. "Heroes" is created by Tim Kring.

How do you stop looking?

How do you pretend that everything is fine? That the notion of inferiority does not bother you? Does not gnaw on the bottom of your stomach every single day?

You’ve done your best. You’ve sung your heart out. You’ve stayed up, day and night. You practically seclude yourself, along with your band mates inside that studio, pumping songs dutifully, like your heart that nourishes your body with blood.

But now your body is spent. Weak. Drained after the long hours of strain. How long will it take? How long will it be before you can stop somewhere and tell yourself “This is enough”? Everyone pushes and pushes you; you have no choice but to follow through.

When? You rap the railing, as if the answer is somewhere carved into the wood. Sighing, you gaze at the sky, feeling smaller than you were. Then you sense someone joining you on the balcony. Neither of you say anything; you like that just fine. After a minute of comfortable silence, he moves behind you and wrap his arms around your waist. You do not protest, nor do you push him away. You welcome him closer instead.

Then he rests his chin on your shoulder and breathes with you.

He lends you his warmth, confidence and strength. You lean on him, with his hands clutching you in possession. You surrender yourself to him, to the stale night and to destiny.

Yes, you have a destiny. Somewhere within you and somewhere out there. You might not know what it is yet, and that the road that has been drawn out for you isn’t that predictable. You’ll get pricked by thorns on the way. And often, there won’t be anyone to pull you up or to pluck those thorns from your skin. You have to stand for yourself, with millions watching but not doing anything.

He kisses your cheek, startling you. Quickly turning your head, you stare at him with wide, bemused eyes. He smiles at you instead, rubbing your foreheads together like a pair of lovers.

Lovers. Love. Where does Love fit in to your Destiny? What role does he play?

Hugging you tighter, he buries his nose in the crook of your jaw and neck. He presses soft kisses on your skin and it melts you. You close your eyes and forget about the charts, the musical scores and the critics. You wallow in his presence and you cannot ask for more than that.

You have him; he has you. What is there left to wish for?